A Masculine Perspective on Ephesians 5:21

The following was a writing assignment for a seminary course... Marriage/Family Counseling, which I just completed a couple of weeks ago. The assignment was to write a devotional based on Ephesians 5:21, from the perspective of your gender. Hope it blesses you...

At first glance, the command to ‘be subject to one another’ can feel like an affront to the male ego. After all, doesn’t the next verse say that wives are supposed to be subject to their husbands? If it is true that God has given us males the responsibility to ‘manage our household well’ (1 Tim. 3:4), which implies a definite role of leadership… then isn’t this idea of ‘being subject’ rather contradictory? In fact, nothing could be farther from the truth, as we will see.

For me, the best example that comes to mind is the account of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples (see John 13:3-17). In those times, the task of footwashing was reserved for the lowliest of servants. The disciples could not comprehend why Jesus, whom they rightly called ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord’ (v. 13), would do such a thing for them – they certainly would not have done it for each other! His answer was simple, but has profound significance for us today – if He, being God, was willing to lay aside His position and authority to wash the dirty feet of His disciples, then how much more should we be willing to do the same for others? Keep in mind that Jesus, in His authority, could have commanded the disciples to wash His feet, but He chose to wash theirs instead, as an example for us.

This example has profound implications for us as husbands when we consider the idea of ‘being subject to one another’, as there are many ways to work this out on a practical level. Most of all, I believe we as males should make a sincere effort to be sensitive to the needs of our wives. I know from experience that it can often be difficult to temporarily set aside your own needs to attend to your spouses, but in Christ’s power it can certainly be done. Perhaps she is feeling discouraged and needs a hug, or for you to pray with her. Maybe she is worn out from dealing with the kids all day, and needs to just relax while you take care of the dishes and kids that night. Or maybe she would like for you to get a sitter one night and take her out on a date. An exhaustive list of examples would be impossible, but do take these to heart and ask Father to show you some specific instances where you could be more attentive to your spouse’s needs.

Verse 21 also gives us the means by which this is to be done – “in the fear of Christ”. The word for ‘fear’ could also be translated as ‘reverence of’. To have a ‘reverence’ for Christ naturally implies that we will seek to not only do His will, but that we will draw on the power of His Spirit to accomplish what He has commanded. Jesus Himself said that He could do nothing of His own initiative (John 5:30); rather, He sought His Father’s will in all things and drew strength from Him. This is essential for us in all things, including the marriage relationship. Unless we allow Christ to love our spouses through us, we will resort to using our fleshly resources, which is always a recipe for disaster.

PRAYER: Father, we thank you for the wonderful gift of our wives. You have blessed each of us immensely through them, and we are eternally grateful for that. As we seek to live out the role You have assigned to us as the head of our household, may it not be done in a domineering, despotic manner. Rather, teach us to abide in You at all times and help us to be sensitive to the needs of our spouses. We ask simply that you love our wives through us. In Christ’s name we pray, Amen.